Archive for August, 2010


Prop 8 Overturned!

Hallelujah! Federal Court Judge Vaughn Walker determined that Proposition 8 “fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license.” This ruling is very similar to the Supreme Court judgement regarding a Colorado law that stated that gays “could make no claim of discrimination.” In that case the Supreme Court found that no state may “deem a class of persons a stranger to its laws.” These are two rulings that really illuminate the responsibility of law to conform to the Constitution.

What I don’t understand is why any citizen would support any law that denies or limits the rights of a subset of citizens. Clearly, that is a slippery slope that once taken can lead to the potential erosion of other rights.

This is not a religious issue. Being able to obtain a marriage license is the first step in a process that enables two people to merge their lives in all ways that matter. Medical decisions. Insurance coverage. Adoption. Property purchases. Public statement of commitment.

Why does anyone care if same sex couples marry? It doesn’t change the legal rights or strength of heterosexual marriage. In fact it could be said that it strengthens all marriage by establishing it as the ultimate measure of a couple’s commitment. Have we forgotten what it feels like to fall in love and realize that we want to spend the rest of our lives with another? And then to realize that through marriage those lives will be entwined in every way? How exciting to know that we would announce to the world that we had found our life partner. Why is it so important to steal that experience from those whose sexual orientation is different from ours? As I said, I just don’t get it!

My ability to choose to marry is the same today as it was yesterday. For me, nothing has changed. But for all of the gays in California much has changed. Think about that. Should the electorate or the government really have the power to control another’s life in that way? What if someone could say tomorrow that your marriage was void because you fell in love and married an Italian? Ridiculous?! Of course. The government shouldn’t be able to tell you who you can fall in love with and marry. Frankly, the government shouldn’t be involved in the love lives of consenting adults at all.

If you don’t think that gays should be able to marry, then don’t go to their weddings. If you think that gay marriage shouldn’t be recognized by religion, then don’t go to a church that does. But if you don’t think that gays should have the exact same rights as you, then you should find a country that isn’t governed by a constitution that was written to protect the rights of the few from the “tyranny of the majority”…

Some People’s Kids: Misguided. Just plain wrong.

Paperwork the Great Rathole

I hate paperwork! I hate paperwork! Did I mention that I hate paperwork!!! I have just returned from my second trip to the doctor’s office to take care of an authorization to release medical records, arghhhhh! Seems the one I dropped off two hours ago wasn’t specific enough although I would think a general release should be perfect but noooo…

It just seems sometimes that bureaucracy was invented specifically to drive me CRAZY! Ok, so maybe now I feel just a titch better. Maybe I should explain my walk on the sanity precipice. I have been out on short term leave for a number of weeks and I can’t tell you how many days have been taken up with phone calls, paperwork, tests, and gazillions of doctor visits! Not sure where the idea of rest and healing comes in but sometimes it feels like at least a part-time job. I know, definitely a wah, wah, wah kind of day. I hate it when I turn into a whining baby but sometimes the metamorphosis is unavoidable. Perhaps a little Kafka is in my future…

Pride and Prejudice Finished at Last

Oh, joy! I have finally seen Jane wedded to Mr. Bingley and Elizabeth safely in the arms of Mr. Darcy! Ain’t love grand in a Jane Austen novel?! I just couldn’t put it down and have just now turned the final page. I simply can’t wait to start the next on the journey, Sense and Sensibility

Death Through Arrogance

Welcome again, my children, to the Church of the Wholey Bizarrely Insane! Our sermons have so far taken us through Grams’ marriage to the Spaniard. His bootlegging. Her fast. Her coma. His gambling. What more could go wrong?! Well…

Just as Grams recovered and the rhythm of life resumed, the hits just kept coming. Her middle child, who was entertaining and outgoing and the apple of her father’s eye, became ill. Her life thus far had not been easy. She was very small in stature with very poor eyesight. In fact the family had been told that she would eventually lose her eyesight entirely. They tried to prepare by sending her to the state school for the blind. She came home with skills that would allow her to have a full and independent life. It seems, however, that fate had different plans for the green-eyed teenager.

One day this middle child became desperately ill. She was burning with fever and could barely breathe. As already established, my Gramps wasn’t fond of doctors and this time his arrogance would prove deadly. He and my Grams tried to care for her themselves but they didn’t have the knowledge or the tools to make a difference thus the sixteen-year-old just became sicker and sicker. Finally, friends and family intervened and sent for a doctor and then forced Gramps, at gunpoint no less, to allow the physician to see the girl. Unfortunately, it was too late and soon her young life dimmed. You see it turns out she had diphtheria. So to add insult to the most grievous injury the signs were nailed to the door and the family did their grieving while under quarantine.

As soon as the quarantine was lifted, my Gramps went on the binge (as will become a pattern in his life) of all binges. Essentially, he felt he had killed his favorite daughter and to the end of his days he lived with that guilt.

He disappeared for weeks and no one knew where he was until a cousin came by and told Grams that they were sure they had heard him singing from a window in the State Mental Hospital. Leave it to Gramps, from tragedy to the ridiculous in one fell swoop!!

Along with his return to the family home, however, terror took up residence. He was never easy to live with but now he bullied my Grams, beat the son, and humiliated the the youngest (my mother). Oh yeah…and he became a master philanderer.

It was not unusual for my mother or her brother to hear from “friends” that Gramps had been seen at a carnival or the movies or a restaurant with some woman and her kids. Not that he ever took Grams or his own kids to any of those places. Not an easy childhood experience to be sure! Perhaps this explains the difficulty they would each have with their own children…

I wonder what new challenge will befall this family next Sunday…hmmm…

Powered by WordPress | Theme: Motion by 85ideas.