For all of you out there contemplating parenthood…or…maybe thinking sex is soooo much better without the hassle of protection – be forewarned – parenthood truly never ends! Not at eighteen, twenty-one, thirty, not ever. Mind you, I’m not complaining, I love my two chicas more than life itself…really and truly!
It’s just that you never stop worrying. They get older, you know…somewhere in the neighborhood of two, and you just no longer have any control. Not that you ever did.
Hmmm…kids…as soon they pop out they begin that quest for independence! Whatever you think is control is really just them choosing to cooperate. For instance, my youngest still responds to counting when I want her to do something…and…she’s twenty-two!
My oldest is thirty-two. Yep, we were on the 10 year plan. She is an amazing woman: smart, funny, kind, beautiful. Knowing these things has always been a struggle for her. On a regular basis I want to wave my magic wand, the one I can never seem to find, and whoosh!…make her feel in the center of her soul, all of the specialness that I see. But you can’t really do that for someone else and therein lies the problem.
Life is for your kids to live and for us parents to often times stand by feeling impotent. Both of my babies (hush…they will always be my babies!) are visiting their dad in another state. Whenever this happens, usually once a year, I worry. I worry about their flight. I worry about them riding in cars driven by others. I worry about whether they’re having fun. I worry that they will have more fun with their dad than they’ve ever had with me. Basically, I worry about everything. Sure, when they’re here I worry as well but my worry seems slightly more neurotic when they’re away, but only slightly.
Don’t get me wrong I’m an equal opportunity worrier. I worry when I’m away as well. I worry what will happen to them if my planes crashes, my car wrecks, my heart stops. OF COURSE, I know they are grown! I gave birth to them, didn’t I? Changed their diapers, didn’t I? Wiped their tears and grounded them, DIDN’T I??? Do you really think you have to remind me that they are grown?!
I think it is completely reasonable to worry that they will be inordinately traumatized if I am no longer in their life. After all, they need my sage advice. Who will tell them to drive safely on a daily basis? Is there anyone else in their life who will ask them to think about what they might do in a natural disaster? Is there?! Someone else might not think to get a height, weight, hair and eye color, place of employment, Social Security number of the new guy they’re going to see. Well, I might be kidding about the Social Security number.
Anyway, my point is that I know that the world can be a dark and scary place where anything can happen. I learned this very important lesson at ten months when my dad rocked me to sleep and laid me in my crib one night never to be seen again. Sorry. I digress. That is definitely a story for another time. Anyway, it just makes sense that they need me around to worry, advise, and hover…just a little.
Unfortunately, I’m not always there when the dark and scaries hit. Last night was very dark and scary for both of my precious female offspring. The elder fainted and the younger witnessed!
Have I mentioned that these sisters, ten years apart, are closer than close and bestest of best friends? Well, they are, and seeing her sister crash to the floor was the scariest of the scaries for the younger.
As I listened the story first from the point of view of the elder, I was sick that I wasn’t there to catch her and then take care of her. When the younger put presented her perspective, I wished with all of my heart that I could have shielded her from that moment of terror. And yet, I was sooo grateful that, if I couldn’t be there, they had each other. And…I realized that even when the inevitable happens and my physical self no longer resides on this planet, they will have each other. And…here’s the real kicker…the bits and pieces of me that reside within their souls means they will always have me with them as well…
I love you, girlies…
Some Peoples Kids: Shine. Love. Care For Each Other. Teach An Old Gal A New Trick…