Wow…just watched the new video for the Eminem/Rihanna song, Love the Way You Lie! The spontaneous combustion of a troubled relationship, takes me back…
There were many times that I wondered how such a sweet love turned so ugly. Sometimes, I guess, it is just the chemical reaction between two people. When my buttons feed off his and his off mine and on and on…Scary, hateful, romantic, dangerous. Definitely not healthy.
This video as well as the lyrics made me cry, made me sad for all of the hurt we caused each other as well as those we love and who love us. My girls suffered through fights, tears, silence, anger, blame, divorce. Sure there was also laughter, love, happiness, hope. But it is often so much harder to remember. As adults what scars do they carry, how has it effected their relationships. The elder experienced her own violence, anger, tears, death of the relationship. The younger seems to have lost her exuberance for life and love. They both seem so eager to settle. Settle for less love, less caring, less honor in their lives from those around them. Or maybe for themselves from themselves.
Wow…suddenly I seem to have more clarity. When a relationship combusts, the collateral damage is widespread. If there are children then they can’t help but get burned. What is the remedy? There’s no magic salve so what can I do, what can they do? I’m feeling sick at the thought that I may have done irreparable harm. That the shrapnel is so deeply imbedded that they won’t be able to see it’s relationship to what they feel today, to the choices that they make, to the journey they are on.
I’m not sure I have ever been so effected by a video. I don’t know if I have ever seen quite so much of myself on display. My discomfort is palatable…
Some People’s Kids: Implode. Explode. Destroy.